Monday, June 16, 2008

Toxic Relationships

"When a blind man leads a blind man, they both end up in the ditch."
Your development, and in some cases your healing, can only take place when you walk with the right people!
Remember the story of the scorpion that asked a frog to carry him across the river because he could not swim? How do I know you will not sting me? the frog asked. If I do, we'll both drown, he replied. So the scorpion hopped on. Half way across the river the scorpion stung him. As they were drowning the frog said, 'You promised you wouldn't. Why did you sting me? The scorpion replied, I cannot help it, it's my nature to sting.
Learn to recognize toxic relationships and walk away from them before they take you down with them. A toxic relationship is like a body part with gangrene; if you do not amputate, the infection will spread. Unless you have the courage to cut off what will not heal, you will end up losing much more.
You cannot partner successfully with someone who does not share your goals. When you feel passionately about something but they do not, it is like trying to dance the fox trot with someone who only wants to waltz. You picked the wrong dance partner. Do not get tied up with someone who does not share your God-given purpose.
Some issues can be corrected through teaching and leadership,but you cannot teach somebody to care. And if they do not care, they will infect your environment, ruin your productivity and break your rhythm with constant complaints.
So ask God, Who belongs in my life?

This was so on time and just what I needed to read at the right moment in my day. All too often us "single sistas" get caught up with the wrong man for the wrong reason . Many times, this guy is just a leech, moocher, jerk, busta, table scraps, well, you get the point. Why hang onto 'em?? When I was younger, I kept a guy around just because it gave me someone to call, it was nice to just have SOMEBODY to talk to, you know-ahhhh!!, or just to have the illusion of being in love. Fulfill that dream of a wedding, white picket fence and two point five children :-) It also gave me a real answer to that age old question, are you seeing anyone? Ugh!
Now that I'm older, I guess I have less patience, I'm not as vulnerable as I used to be and quite frankly, I value my peace and quiet. Those of you that have been here before know I recently had a scorpion in my life. I found out things about him that let me know it's not in his nature to do right by me. I didn't fuss, cuss, or beat the helloutta him. I just cold turkey dipped and said we weren't compatible and left it at that. Sorry, but at least I didn't wait until some special occasion like a birthday or something!

Now I have no answer for that stupid question but I'd rather be alone and at peace than with someone in a toxic relationship.

To my friend that's out there reading this post, I'm writing this for you too, girl! Keep ya head up! The one is out there and you'll KNOW it when the time is right... Then me and you know who won't have to carry picket signs at your wedding!

Your thoughts??


Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

yea, i just got over one, she was toxic shock. She lost a 2.5 carat eng ring (a blessing now) and threatened to kill my son. anywho

nice i placed a video of my store for dogs on my site today ck it out if u can

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

I totally agree. I think at times, women, especially Black women tend to settle for a man who isn't right for them only to say they have a man. If you are willing to lower your standards for the sake of being in a relationship, then you have self-esteem issues. If you can't love you, who can you love? Learn to be comfortable with youself...then be comfortable with someone else.

12kyle said...

great post!

I think you made some excellent points. You are seeking happiness but inner peace as well. Women want that but sometimes they'll forgo that just to get a man. Why bother? Find it yourself and let those qualities draw a man to you.